February 16, 2004

20 questions

So: Life....is.

I have this problem that I can't seem to get a handle on. I did good last week in that I kept it in check and actually went to work all week. (Thanks to some...overzealous help from The Husband). I wish I weren't broken. I wish everything just worked the way it's supposed to. Why can't I be happy and normal? Why do I see the smallest things as chores? Can that be fixed?

Don't mistake this entry as a "Gar! I hate life, I want to end it!". Quite the contrary. I love life, I love living it. I just wish I could, well, not be broken. There are so many little quirks that I have that make my life harder than it should be and I can't seem to get rid of them. Main quirk: I'm one lazy beyach. I don't do ANYTHING unless I'm cornered or I get a wild hare and want to do it. (Usually when that happens, I just tell The Husband to get out of my way and go with it. Those are few and far between though.

I never finsh anything I start. I never take the initiative. How is it that I can always be there for my friends (Which I find immensely flattering that they ask me) but I can't be there for myself. Why can't I find a therapist that will see me AFTER work? Why can't I believe that my husband finds me attractive?

Posted by vew at 9:35 AM